I'll be fine...

When will I learn that all you do will have consequences??

I'm involved in this big project, I am so happy to be involved in it. But, I have other commitments that limits my time to contribute for this project. This project benefits me in ways that I can improve some of my interpersonal skills and skills for my career enhancement. I like doing it but because it is time consuming and my group leader is forever forcing us (in a way it's good to have this type of people... but in a way it is quite irritating) to complete each task quickly. The only thing is because of the limitation of time, I felt like I'm a burden to the group as I drag my colleagues and this is not a good feeling.

My group leader has been asking me about my commitment on this project. Today is the 2nd time he asked about the same thing and he is tired of my promises that I failed to keep more than 3 times now. May be it is time that I acknowledge my time constraints and leave the project. They can be much much better without me.

Moreover, i am going to do my masters and I will not have time at all to do it. Better I tell him now... Of course I'll complete the tasks he asked me to do, then I'll tell him.... right? The research is beneficial in one way, but not for my field. It's not. It's a very different field from what I'm going to take in future.

I think I should release myself now.....

I'll be fine.....

My 'NEW' Computer

Just got a 'new' computer... I can say... I'm blessed to be working at a place that can provide me with all necessaries to do my job, even though it took quite a while to get it.. but I still got the computer. If it was not because of the theft or thieves that stole my precious HP flat screen computer last April... I wouldn't suffer this much, technologically wise. Two months after my computer was stolen, they replaced it with one Compaq black-coloured desktop computer. Then From that day onwards, I had to call people to repair it for 10 times... until I was fed up with it. Then, because I complaint a lot, my hubby bought me a Laptop (Compaq Presario).. pity him... he had to hear all my complaints.. hehehe... After the 10th time I complaint, they decided to replace that Compaq desktop with an NEC white-coloured desktop... But, it took them from before Ramadhan... until today.... After Raya!! then I got this PC!! For today, everything's fine.. They've installed everything except..... Ms Office!!! Now.. tell me how can I do my work??

Morale of the story?? Lu pikir la sendiri!!

2nd Masters Degree.. Here I come!!

Well... I've made peace with myself... I'm ready for every challenges that will come my way...

Having to take a second masters degree was not really an option for me. I realise that. Everyone thought of that as a waste of time and money... but, do I have any options? I've tried doing all that I could.. It seems that I'm really wasting time not doing the second masters.

Perhaps everyone will understand why I took this decision. Perhaps not...

But I'm OK with it. I'll be the best at it.... I can promise myself that... at least.

So... chayo!!

The Farmer, Weeds and Apples

I have to say.. it's not easy to change the world.

There's a story of a farmer that wants to succeed in his life.

He started planting seeds for weeds. After 2 years... the weeds grew very well. The farmer and his family has gain a lot from the selling of the weeds. Their life changed for the better but draught came one day, and change their life from a modest life to almost poor. They seek for help from the king. But, getting through the king was also to get through the village leaders, the state leader, a minister and all their followers. That's the system of their country.

So, first he ask the village leaders to help. They were really easy to dealt with and the village leader sent the farmer to see the state leader. Here's where the problem arise... The state leader couldn't help as he said that weeds are not what the state can offer help for. "But, try asking other states to help. I think North state are planting weeds" So, the farmer went to the North state leader. The North state leader said, "Hey, you are not from our state... we cannot help you". The farmer went back to his state leader. The state leader said... "Hey, if you plant apple trees, then we can help you." The farmer thought" It will be a waste of all the machinery and resources then". "Well, you can always try to ask from another states in the east, or west" said the South state leader.

So, the farmer went to see all the other state leaders mentioned. But, no one wants to help him with the weed problem. In his way back from the long long journey... he thought that this system is so so not right. We are from the same country... why should it be so difficult to help each other? When he reached back home, he looked at his wife.... and looked down in despair. After a good night sleep, the next morning he went to his farm. Then he saw the sunshine. The sun always shines and give hope to the crops as well as other beings. The moon will come and give hope for animals and other beings at night. That's a flawless system. Why is it so difficult to change our country's system.

Then he realise... If I couldn't change the system... May be I'll be a part of the system. I cannot change the system, I can only change myself! From that day onwards... he planted apple trees. And he lived happily with his family... and his apples were the best in the country!!

Morale of the story?

There's always a solution for every problems. I can really relate to that as that is my problem. Now... I made peace with myself and swallow it.