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Thursday, February 19, 2009

The ups and downs of life

Hi there...

I have been busy for a long time. Doing my (2nd) masters, working full time and part time, as well as a wife and mother. I love my life, but at some point of time... I seem to feel very exhausted, tired and I start to think... What in god's love am I doing?? My life is more hectic than ever before!!!

Then it dawns to me....
Hey.. Nobody's life is perfect!

I'm just another person on this planet earth that is still breathing, has a job to survive my life, has enough food, a proper shelter... etc... I should be greatfull...

God loves me so much that I am still fit and healthy to proceed and achieve my dreams!! I'm so thankful for that!! I have a husband and family that loves and supports me. Not to mention friends and colleagues... They all are helpful in so many ways.

Let me share with you my experience when I was doing my 1st Masters (started in the end of 2002). I was working full time, was studying full time as well ( thank goodness the classes were all weekends or at night). What's making it harder was because... My brother just recovered from hemorrhage (motorcycle accident) and my mother was suffering from breast cancer. More to that my work was not getting any easier as the place that I worked was facing financial problems and has changed management few times.

2004 was the most difficult year of all.

Even though I managed to maintained my pointers above 3.00, the last semester was the most challenging one ever. My mother was admitted for the 3rd time and this time she has no signs of recovering.... It became bad to worst. My schedule changed from the normal, get in the commuter at 7 and be back home at 6.30 with classes in the weekends... TO... from the hospital (HUKM), get into the bus to work, get back on the bus at 5 to the hospital again... and the cycle goes on.. and weekend I attend my classes. I was a walking zombie... That's not added with the part time job I was doing at that time... Added to that, my former (*%$@!) boss.. was not supportive and considerate to my condition. He was the worst boss I have ever encountered!! Never want to meet or see him again!!! ever...

My mother passed away on March 7th 2004.....

She will always be remembered for her strong will and determination to fight cancer. Love you and miss you a lot, Mama....

That's not the end of it... My father remaried on July 14th 2004. After 100 days of mourning.... we had to accept a 'new' 30-ish lady with 3 children to be our father's wife!!! I thought... life was not fair!!

But still I managed to graduate on time (1 1/2 years) for my masters. I quit my (*%$@!) job and I was unemployed. I fell to the bottom of the pitt. I tried to apply for a lot of jobs.. but failed. I accepted a job as a construction supervisor and that just lasts for one month. (The boss really sucked all the extra money I have to buy the construction workers lunch and never even paid untill I asked for it when I resigned!!) I beame a Q-dees teacher and I got an offer as a lecturer in a private University.. Then my life changed... I became wiser and mature. I got married soon after that and now I'm working in a public university!! (yay for me!!).

This long story is just to state that.. Life is like a rollercoaster. Sometimes you'll be on top and sometimes you'll be down the hill. Whatever challenges.. you have to face it.


Remember... God is always on your side. He'll guide you and you'll know that. If one door closses, he will open 100 more doors for you with love.... There's always a reason behind everything He does. He will never give you problems that you cannot solve or handle... Just hope and pray that you'll make the right choices in life!!